20 – Under him

“…I'll do whatever you want,” I said.

It wasn't a whisper anymore. It wasn't a game anymore. I meant every word. And he heard it.

Giorgio repeated it slowly, almost with relish: "So will you do everything I want?"

And he put his foot back on the ground, away from my face.

Then: "Get lower, boy. Face to the ground."

I didn't hesitate. I leaned forward, lowering my head until my forehead touched the ground.

Right between his feet.

Then I felt it: the sole of his foot on the back of my neck. Warm. Heavy. Alive. No pressure. No pain. Just presence.

And the feeling: now I was in the right place.

" Say it again ," he said.

I took a deep breath.

"I'll do whatever you want."

And I really meant it. Word for word. There was no mask, no role, no facade anymore.

I was inferior to him. Literally. Physically. And internally.

The big, warm sole of his foot rested on my head as if I were something that belonged to him. A part of his territory. Something beneath him, and therefore complete.

I was lower in the hierarchy than the sole of her foot. And that made me tough. That made me honest. That made me free .

I didn't recognize myself. But I recognized something inside me that had always been there. Something that had only found a name through him.

He left the sole of his foot on my head. Just like that. And there it stayed.

How I liked it. How right it was.

A warmth emanated from her, slowly, silently, but it flowed through me.

From the top of my head to the tips of my fingers. And beyond, to every corner of my body.

I felt this energy building up, growing inside me, without being able to stop it. And I didn't even want to.

Something inside me tightened. Something lifted. Not visible, but absolutely evident.

That simple touch, his foot on my head, had more effect on me than any body ever had before.

I was hungry. Not for food. Not for words.

But after him .

I wanted to feel it. I wanted him to hold me tight. I wanted everything that was, and everything that he couldn't tell me.

There was no shame left in me. Only desire. Only clarity. Only awareness:

I was ready.